my weird man

My man drive me nuts almost all the time. He is not the usual boyfriend, fiance or husband type. I think he is from outerspace. His way of expressing himself is weird and he snaps really quickly when he feels hot, bothered or when things does not happen the way he wants it to. I have learnt to breath in, hold my tongue for 10s when such incidents happen and wait for my own quick burst of temper disperse before I face him so as to avoid arguements.

He is not the type that would gaze into my eyes and profess his love, nor will he kiss or hug me spontaneously. Being a typical cancerian, I crave affection and this ice cool man drives me nuts. In fact I lamented to him that we should probably not take bridal photos which typically has the couple gazing at each other and very apparently in love. He does not know how to gaze at me lovingly! We may end up looking at strangers who happen to be in the same shot!

Yet as I accept my choice (see previous post) and convinced myself I can survive with a life with my icy man, he surprises me with some warm gestures. Like offering to chip in for my folk's new refridgerator. It is really not about the $$ but I was all fuzzy inside simply cos he thought deeper and was so considerate. So guess what? I have saved the address of the raved peranakan vegetarian restaurant so as to reciprocate with a fuzzy dinner with his mum when he is back.

Life Choices

Ran into someone from the past last night and it got me thinking for a little while how I miss those days of fun. Almost every night be it weekday or weekend, i will be having fun, singing, playing pool, chatting, etc etc etc. It really has been so long since I last had fun like that. I was tempted to join them for a round but responsibility made me shake my head and bid adieus. Yes I had a fur ball waiting at home and I bet my man will not be too pleased about it too. Could have gone on the sly without him knowing but the thought of them calling me in future and me having to reject them many more times more deterred me. I think what i miss is the activities and not so much the company perhaps. The thing is life is so busy now we forget to inject some fun in our lives. He also does not like singing or playing pool. I really hope that he would try.

Maybe the past comes haunting? This morning I ran into C. C used to serenade me with his guitar and singing back in uni. He was really sweet and very SNAG material. He was also a high flyer who got 1st class honours, scholarships both local and in london and is now back in Singapore on EXPAT terms. can u believe it? back working in your home country on expat terms....anyway back when i was in spitland, he wanted to visit me. all the way from london He has always kinda clinged on to liking me and if i wanted i know i could have started something. He is one of the most successful, have made it guy I know. Yet I made my choice to not pursue anything as seriously there are no sparks. I know what people say about love fades and its companionship after a few yrs of marraige. It probably means I can be the Tai Tai i wanna be with him but I have made my bed and chose my guy. I will stick by my choice and make it work too. We may not be as rich but maybe we will be happier?

Temptations are always present and someone weaker may subcumb but I guess I am stronger than most. I hold faithfulness as the topmost priority and expect nothing less in return. I do not invite trouble by not even starting any possibility. Yeah so and so can be platonic friends but doesn't all trysts start off as friends? One innocent dinner/drink leads to a 2nd, one smsed good night leads to a good night kiss, one platonic relationship leads to a misunderstanding...... if there is a slight chance it will hurt my current man, i will pass.

This morning I walked the other way without even catching his eye or saying hi.

Loving someone who loves himself more

The most tiring thing has got to be loving someone who is self-centered. When I love someone, he is always on my mind. If I walk pass a shop or see something, I will naturally look out for things he may like or interesting things that I can tell him about. I will look forward to spending time with him.

Time during the journey in the car, time spent being at the same place at the same time does not count! Being physically near does not equate spending time together. Spending time means having a chat, cuddling together to watch a movie and laughing at the same scenes, taking a walk hand in hand with no other distractions other then shared thoughts. This I feel is the main thing that he cannot understand.

my notion of bad day = when u go from one shit hole to another after trying so hard

Poochie is a good way to show this. To me spending time with poochie is fun, is good and is also expected since we chose to add him to our lives. However if every night 95% of the time is spent focusing on poochie, 1 on 1 time between him and poochie and I only get the miserly 5mins before bed, the equation is seriously skewed and wrong. He obviously enjoys time with the poochie, so do I but if he only focus on what he likes doing, it means A) I am not even on his list of likable/enjoyable activity B) he only cares about his own happiness by doing what he enjoys and care naught about my feelings.

The same for today. I am sure he can take 40mins to have lunch if he will sacrifice play time with the poochie when he is home. In fact it will not be 40mins because even if he tabaos he will still take the same time to buy the food and eat it. The difference in time will just be maybe 15-20mins travelling. I just cannot understand why he cannot give me 20mins given that he has to leave for D again and this time in the afternoon!

I am pissed! Fine both can play the self centered game u know. We shall see.

The Ideal Wedding

After endless research, surfing the net like mad, emailing and calling for quotes and proposals, nagging the man with my opinions, we finally decided on holding 2 separate events for friends and family.

Friends part will be in the afternoon for solemnization cocktail at a really nice and beautiful venue. Canapes and sweets will be served and guests have a choice of the air conditioned room or to hang around the lush greenary outside with pavillions and sofas. Drinks and canapes will be served by butlers and I shall make a grand entrance from above, down the stairs to my waiting groom out to the pavillion to sign my life away as his maid uhhhh ahem i meant soul-mate.

Relatives always place the yummy quotient above the venue location/deco. Thus we have shortlisted 2 well-known restaurants that meets our "no cheesy restaurant" motto. This is relatively more affordable compared to ballrooms in hotels and more exceptable compared to non-5 stars hotels which we did not like.

So there expectations all met and expenditure reduced by half. Sis warns that we will be very tired with no time to rest the entire day (i am teochew so the day will start early) and may not look good in photos. But I assured her that the savings plus the loveliness of the arvo event will make us glow from within. HAHHAHA. More updates later when things are firmed.

Better get married fast

Planning for a wedding is more painful than planning for the reno of the house I feel. With the house we only had to contend with ourselves. For a wedding it seems, everyone has 2 cents to share.

We are kinda late in our planning it seems as many ideal places are already reserved by others. If we were willing to spend all our fortune and maybe even take a loan my friend, things would be a lot simpler cos I will just fly all my guest to an exotic island, build a air conditioned tentage/ mini ball room smack in the middle of the island and let them sigh at how wonderful my wedding is.

Poof! Back to reality. I want to have a nice memory of what will be the most impt day of my life in 2009. Ok ok probably my entire life next to the birth of my future child =P ......BUT I am so not willing to spend $10-15k treating a typical wedding dinner which gets forgotten the next day no matter if that dinner costs me $140 per pax. ($10-15k net cost calculated based on ave $100 ang pows and those tables taxed by the female government aka my mum). I mean I will not thank the bride and groom for eternity for holding their dinner at Conrad cos the food is good and the surrounding nice. I will say thanks a lot on that day and maybe brag about it for them to a couple of friends over coffee in the next month and then "huh what exp dinner". What's worse is that the typical aunty/relative crowd who always have something to complain about regardless of whether the cook is reknown or not. EH auntie u paid $50 ang pow so sshhhhh up.

Ok probably all the banquet checking and venue sourcing is making me cynical. The prices are horrendous in 2009. All 5-stars hotel charge above $1k per table of 10 or have some 40-50 min table requirements. It is said that there is 10% increase every wear, so my dear pak-tor-ing couples get married fast if you are still pondering when cos ang pow $$ increase never matches up to the dinner cost inflation!

Ideal Proposal?

back when some DVD store were having a sale I bought the korean drama Hwang Jini. As the man was again away on biz, I rellied on Jini to help me occupy my time. I have watched 8 episodes so far and on one of the episodes Eunho (the guy Jini likes) kinda wanted to show Jini he loves her when Jini was about to tell him there is no chance for them due to the old cast system which forbids marraige between nobleman class and gisaeng which are korean version of geisha and considered low cast.

whats with the hair anyway. they always have this big hair which supposedly shows grooming and beauty. I prefer her like this

Anyway Jini went to look for Eunho and when she arrived at the bridge, the entire path was covered with flowers. She tread her way like a fairy over the bridge to a pavilion and there was a string hanging down. Naturally she pulled it and down sliding came a ring inscribed with a message from Eunho.

The scene was beautiful and I starting thinking maybe one day I will come home and find our apartment floor covered with rose petals (yah color coordination is still a must and the bright red will stand out given our black/gray scheme). I walk in feeling like a princess and find tied to the doorway to the room a string. When I pulled it, a hugh 1 carat diamond ring came sliding down and the man walks slowly towards me and kneel to ask for my hand.....

But who will sweep up the rose petals later? moi most likely kwa kwa kwa and unlike in the show whereby the ring can slide slowly into her palms, i think my diamond would fly top speed and probably roll off to some corner and we will both be on bended knees then looking for it. Shucks with a practical mind like mine how to have a dreamy proposal? duh

How to Have a Happy Marriage/Relationship by Alan Stafford

Take some time to read this simple but somehow make sense article. READ dun just scroll away!!

It starts with you

The happier you are with yourself and your life, the more attractive you are to your partner. Another way to look at this is: if you were someone else, would you marry you? Start today to work on being the kind of person you would want to know, date, and marry. If you're not that kind of person, how can you expect your spouse to stay attracted or stay passionate?

There's you, there's him/her, and then there's we

You don't have to give up your identity or be known as your spouse's partner.

It also doesn't work when two people each do their own thing without regard to their partner's wishes and feelings. Marriage is, and should be, more than cohabitation. As the marriage vows state, "two shall be as one". That "one" is neither you nor him. The "one" is a third entity: the relationship, the marriage, the "we".

The "we" is what you share, what you have in common, the nurturing that cannot be provided on your own. Think companionship, intimacy, and sharing.

Leave behind your emotional baggage

Are you really over your previous relationship? If not, you can't fully commit to your spouse. Likewise, if you are still Daddy's little girl or Mommy's boy, you are not in control of your own life. Therefore, you cannot fully enter into an adult relationship of mutual sharing and support. You can't be accountable to your spouse if you have to keep pleasing Mommy or Daddy.

Your marriage comes first

Marriage is the strongest bond between two people. Parents are here and one day they are gone. Children grow into adults and leave to start their own lives. Your spouse is only person who is meant to stay with you the rest of your time on this planet.

Women who say their children come first are usually unable to let their children grow up and become independent adults. Instead of a mature adult-adult relationship, the roles are forever adult- child. So the children never emotionally leave home and are forever dependent on the parent.

Your marriage is your top priority

You didn't get married to commute two hours a day, work at the office 60 hours a week, and pay on a mortgage for 30 years. You probably got married to share your life, your hopes, your dreams- not your bills-with that special someone. During life's ups and especially during life's downs, keep in mind why you married in the first place. Not jobs, nor cars, nor your favorite sports team. At one time, your partner was the most important thing in this world to you. Act like it today and every day.

Don't compare

This holds true in your life as well as in your marriage. There will always be a couple that seems happier, wealthier, sexier, and more perfect than you two are. So what? Their happiness doesn't increase or diminish your happiness. Neither does their money, their jobs, their house, or their glamour. All that matters is whether you and your spouse have created a relationship that works for you.

Don't wonder "what if?"

Wondering what it would be like to be with another person-for a night or for a lifetime-is self-delusion and is really unfair to your spouse. You see other people socially when they are at their best. You see your spouse when he/she is at his best, her average, and sometimes at her worst. If you could swap mates, guess what? You'd see that person at his/her worst, and you probably wouldn't like what you see.

Realize that love can grow

As much as you were in love when you got married, your love and commitment to each other can grow over the years. Marriage can get better, not worse, with time. The longer you've been married, the more history you have together. The triumphs and disappointments, the successes and the failures, all are part of sharing a life together. And that history is unique to you. No one else has that or can duplicate it. This is why a man who leaves his middle aged wife for a younger woman eventually wants to come back. With his wife he has a history-a shared past. With the new woman there is only the present.

Commitment means no matter what

It's as simple as making the decision to be totally committed to your spouse and to the relationship. No matter what happens financially, or health wise, or otherwise. No matter what. Once the two of you have decided to stay "no matter what", there is no question of stay or go, yes or no. Now the emphasis is on problem solving. Write this down: all couples have problems. Happy couples learn to deal with their problems. Unhappy couples eventually just run away.

Believe that a happy marriage is not only possible, it's yours for the making

It won't happen by itself. It takes intention, commitment, and practice. But the couples who have happy, blissful, and satisfying marriages are proof that it is possible. Just choose to be happy, and choose to be happily married.

Happy Birthday

to many more birthdays ahead, cheers!

the art of cob-web cultivation

its almost 11pm and while i could have left at 6pm, i am now sitting in a stuffy office with no air-conditioning since 6pm...noisy too as there are maybe 6 ah nehs outside painting the walls and yeah getting to that, the whiff of paint aint too nice.

all because he is still at work and i wanted to see him for measly 5mins during the ride home. done it before and will do it again. ain't the smartest girl at the end of the day am i? the silly things love makes one do.

Pitter Patter Pitter

the man is away on biz to Bahrain and Dubai. 9 days....the first Sunday was already unbearable how should I survive the coming weekend?

Some femme friends i know are always happy when their men are away. They will call gleefully and ask for nights out or some other ways to celebrate what they call "vacation time" of freedom. I pondered over this but i realised I cannot bring myself to be happy. End of the day, i still enjoy the company of my man the most.

its raining almost daily and somehow the grayness outside makes me miss my darling more. I even have problem falling asleep...this is bad...need to tweak this mood. He will be away almost every month so if this continues I will wilt...

On a up note, we have registered for the Mini Makansutra! Will post the events pic after the race!

random klutzy conversation

Him: Where are you darling
Her: I am bringing the car for a walk
Him: *kua kua kua* you think the car is a dog?

hee hee

Meaningful Quotes

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Don't make a promise when u are in joy
Don't reply when you are sad
Don't make a decision when you are angry
Think twice Act wise

We make them cry who care for us
We cry for those who never cared for us
We care for those who will never cry for us
Strange but how true...

DON"T MAKE SOMEONE YOUR PRIORITY IN LIFE
WHEN YOU ARE JUST AN OPTION IN THEIR LIFE
Relationships work best in balance

Staying Upbeat

Like all couples, we have our share of arguements and fights. It never fails to amaze me though how quickly we will recover from such sagas and how at the end of the day, we still find our way back into each other's arms.


I know of couples who will have days or even weeks of cold war. Ours never last longer then a day. I just want my darling to know that I do treasure our special bond, how we always are on the same wave length and thinking of the same thing at the same time. I also appreciate how he will try to solve things and progress on. Every couple has differences and I think we are working out all the kinks and soon all will be smooth sailing *wink*

Every morning I would want to jump into the car and greet you with my cheerful Good Morning the way I always do. But the fear of refusal and rejection holds me back. NOW i have decided to be brave and thick-skin. Even if you shall frown, i shall drown you with my cheerfulness and you will have no choice but to be cheerful too! haha yeah the old dua baby will launch this mission now!

Ready, Get Set, GO!

random klutzy conversation

i have a knack for asking the wierdest questions:

Will you mop the floor when i am cooking in future?
Ya of cos....

闭上眼睛

是否闭上眼睛就能够看得更清楚？

不要被眼前的一切扰乱你的感觉。心里很想表现爱意旦脑子要你逞强，不许太依赖他的爱，不许表现得太需要他。深爱对方的我们绕了15年的圈子被缘分连在一起了。有多少人像我们如此幸运，找回童年的恋情? 恋爱不许伪装， 容不下谎言，不需隐瞒，不要骄傲。

我们无所不谈，繁忙的工作了一天不管有多累有多烦，只要能和对方聊聊天，把一天的闷气诉说， 并能觉得愉快。简简单单的拥抱，不需语言便能让我们感觉满足。

但应为臭味相同，坏脾气的我俩也会起纠纷。能在火山爆发前， 深深吸口气，把难听的句子吞回肚子里，不就好了吗？不珍惜便会造成可惜哦！

大家一起来深呼吸吧！

Mega Hint

Best way to start a day

Waking up in your arms

The best way to start a day is to wake up in his arms. i love the feeling of waking up tucked nicely next to him with my head on his chest and his arms around me. then as i struggle to peel my eyes open, the first thing i see is him smiling at me. this makes me close my eyes again promptly and snuggle up even closer as i try to cherish the last few minutes before we have to get up.

i remember him telling me that he likes the way i look in the mornings and i do so like him to be the first thing i see when i open my eyes too. i like he way he will grope around in the middle of the night should we have shifted positions just so to pull me back into his arms. natural instinct? heh heh.

i could really get use to this.

Clean and Gleam

Sunday arvo was spent cleaning the vehicle. We cleaned the interior and applied the anti-rain protection coat. Hard work but all worth it when we sat in the car and it seems there was no glass at all cos it was that clean!

it was the first time he spent so much time grooming a car by himself but i could tell he enjoyed it too as it is OUR car so WE should take care of it =) now for past due peektures of the car....hopefully can get some this weekend.

laughs of the day:

Her: (pointing at some random passerbys) look at that group of indians what are they doing
Him: (turned and look) huh?
Her: look! there are more and more of them!
oops caught red-handed the 2nd round trying to steal his honeydew sago with ice cream...haha

Love can be Simple

there are small little quirks about us that are so sweet to me.

totally random thoughts:

- i like the way we remind each other to stay focus on the final goals like asking "do u really need another pair of shoes?" which the other will take it simply and say "ya hor, no need" of cos there are exceptions especially if it is a pair that you have been eyeing for months and find it on sale AND it happens to be the most comfy and reputable shoe maker *wink wink*

- i like the way you insist we must kiss good night on the phone

- i like the way you will come to pick me up and send me home when i am out with my friends

- i like the way you will hug me and laugh good naturely whenever i tease you about something which you know you are guilty of (rem the flowers in the lift haha)

- i like the way you will reach out to hold my hand whenever and whereever

- i like short and random kisses on the cheeks....awwww so sweet hehe

- i like the way we can totally be real and ourselves and just fool around if we want cos we are so comfortable with each other

- i like the way you laugh with me and the way you make me laugh

- i like the way you love me

random klutzy conversation:

darling the airport ceiling looks different hor?how can it be when i just came to surprise you 2 weeks ago?
my dear you are in T2 not T1....

Journey with You

life is wonderful so they say....the paper work for the new ride is all done and we shall officially be the proud owners of OUR new vroom!

As we archieve our 1st target, we shall document the journey it will take us thru in our life together =). The plate has special significance to us it has both our names and it is a ride which we chose together. Collection this sunday 28th July 2007....i can't wait!