Missy no more

after a long hiatus from blogging there are loads to update. i have officially gotten married on 25 May 2009. Despite all the cold feet thinking before the wedding and last minute doubts on this important decision, everything went really well on the wedding day itself and while it was nothing like the ideal wedding i blogged about earlier, it was good enough and i think we both enjoyed it.

everything went smoothly despite a slight delay in the morning as the chief Jiemei was late. in the end we finished the morning early and i even had time for a quick nap at the hotel before the ROm at 6.15pm. the dinner was really hectic due to tea serving ceremony i was brainlessly following instructions, walking all over the ballroom and reminding myself constantly to smile. The Jiemeis and Xiongdis were wonderfull, taking care of everything so we really could just be THE bride and groom without worries on logistics. all the hassle and prep for 1 day which seemed to passed so quickly. Photos turned out great, gate crash was funny and good, ROM was pretty and dinner was delicious.

I now make bookings under Mrs Chua =P

I am getting married!?

As the date grows closer, I find myself freaking out. Everyone who knows me always knew I am super pro-family, pro-wifey an pro-kids. I have always claim that my ambition is to be a wife and mum. However now that the big day is approaching, I find myself getting worried, scared and totally losing my mind.

The past months were really bad. Perhaps the preparation had really drained me. I was endlessly thinking about what gown(s) to choose (made more difficult by a $%^& bridal studio), what hairdo to style, what make-up, will i look good?, i need to lose weight, what my mum wants, what his mum wants, what I want, why does he not seem to want anything!, what items have i left out in my preparations, what has to be bought, who should be present, how to sit everyone, whose car, etc etc etc. If i drive u mad reading this, u would understand how I pretty much drove myself mad.

The man was as usual travelling and away half the time. The other half of the time that he was around, he was his usual nonchalent self. It did not help that he had no time and no suggestions. I got mad, he got mad that i got mad and we all became mad. It came to a point where I felt like screaming STOP, ignore everything and call it all off. I started questioning if this is really the step I want to take and if this is the man I want to be with for the next 30 years at least?

I also realised that I started feeling adversed to bearing kids. A big surprise to even myself as I have always known that I want to have kids and I love kids. But now I am worried about the process of pregnancy and raising a kid. How am I to bring the kid to innoculations and maybe enrichment classes like baby yoga etc when I have a man who is always too busy to help?

I know they say things will always sort out when the time comes but I can't help thinking all these negative thoughts. I seriously wanted to fight and argue with the man so he will put a stop to everything by announcing that he cannot stand me anymore. I lacked the courage to do it myself so I was really hoping to drive him to do it.

Now that the bridal shot is over I feel slightly relieved. I am beginning to think more of how to work things out than to shut down everything and hide. I guess I really cannot take the 2 week hiatus every 3 weeks whereby I have to face everything on my own. I really hope we can work on something and the man will not need to leave me for such long periods again.

hello again

I have stopped blogging for some time as I am just swamped by things to do be it at work or for the wedding. Sometimes I really have the urge to write as I used to in the past with my previous xanga blog but somehow I get distracted.

I am now hoping to get the N97 which will offer a large LCD and with wireless available easily perhaps i can blog remotely through the phone? Now when will it be launched???? Love the outlooks though I am a little worried that it may be too bulky.
Not keen on a iphone as I feel too many people has it and i kinda like the option of having a actual QWERTY keypad. I have survived 9 mths with the crappy $100 replacement phone ever since my last Samsumg drowned in the toilet. Think I deserve to reward myself now!