Loving someone who loves himself more

The most tiring thing has got to be loving someone who is self-centered. When I love someone, he is always on my mind. If I walk pass a shop or see something, I will naturally look out for things he may like or interesting things that I can tell him about. I will look forward to spending time with him.

Time during the journey in the car, time spent being at the same place at the same time does not count! Being physically near does not equate spending time together. Spending time means having a chat, cuddling together to watch a movie and laughing at the same scenes, taking a walk hand in hand with no other distractions other then shared thoughts. This I feel is the main thing that he cannot understand.

my notion of bad day = when u go from one shit hole to another after trying so hard

Poochie is a good way to show this. To me spending time with poochie is fun, is good and is also expected since we chose to add him to our lives. However if every night 95% of the time is spent focusing on poochie, 1 on 1 time between him and poochie and I only get the miserly 5mins before bed, the equation is seriously skewed and wrong. He obviously enjoys time with the poochie, so do I but if he only focus on what he likes doing, it means A) I am not even on his list of likable/enjoyable activity B) he only cares about his own happiness by doing what he enjoys and care naught about my feelings.

The same for today. I am sure he can take 40mins to have lunch if he will sacrifice play time with the poochie when he is home. In fact it will not be 40mins because even if he tabaos he will still take the same time to buy the food and eat it. The difference in time will just be maybe 15-20mins travelling. I just cannot understand why he cannot give me 20mins given that he has to leave for D again and this time in the afternoon!

I am pissed! Fine both can play the self centered game u know. We shall see.